Tuesday, December 23, 2008

"You just have to pull the red string..."

This is my favorite line on the anime series that I am currently hooked on.Its not your usual anime(not hentai...stupid)because it aint for kids.This is basically horror anime which centers on this certain website that can only be accessed at the stroke of midnight, and those who want do it should have enough thirst for revenge to summon the main character Enma Ai a.k.a Hell Girl.The black clad unform,long raven haired school girl with piercing red eyes who carries out revenge on your behalf.
The whole essence of the series is somewhat gloomy but nevertheless this one certainly satisfies one of our primal instinct...the need to get things even on those who have wronged us great.I like it for that.Imagine having someone ferried your enemy straight to the depths of hell?what couldnt be more satisfying...?
It may sound tempting but there is a price to pay...As Enma ai tells the disclaimer to the protagonist,.."When a soul is cursed....two graves are dug...your enemy will go straight to hell but when you die,yours will have the same fate...going to the pits and not having known paradise..." the covenant is chillingly tempting as she hands a doll with a red string to the person needing revenge...and she just needs to pull it to seal the covenant.
this anime is as dark and gloomy as it gets but as soon as you watch the first episode...youll get hooked..its addicting.Imagine witnessing the deaths of many villains and having the main character triumph at the end of the episode..now it doesnt get any better than this,right?...and Id rather see someone get torn into pieces and be carried straight to hades than see him rot in jail.I wish www.Hellcorrespondence.com really exists...sigh*
All in all ,Hell Girl is really a deviant anime,breaking the usual norm in cartoon world and people might chastise this...but lets get real...what would you rather see?..The rapist rotting in jail or having him splintered into pieces then get ferried by Enma Ai to Hell?...as she puts it..

"The decision is yours to make..."

Friday, December 19, 2008

Turning into Wine

When I reached 30, I thought I'll never get to enjoy things that I used to do..goofing and all shit.I got into this little demented though that Ill be like the quinessential dirty old guy..hehehe but I notcied that everything turned out to be favorable on my part. I may have looked different from my late 20's but im definitely better now...sexiness and wisdom combined..hmmnn..a fatal combination...hehehe
Im sporting a semi mohawk now...the kind that still can blend into the crownd though most of the time its a sure standout...and with reddish brown color...makes me look more japanese than ever.Its a sure tamed one compared to the blonde hues I used to sport in my early years but this is more easy on the eye and definitely matches my skintone.
I let go of my contacts lenses and amd seen with my natural eye color.Though I miss the different hues in my eyes,I guess I look better when I have natural browns...BUT I shaved my eyebrow...Ooops dont get me wrong...this isnt your drag queen type of shaving but more like how japanese guys shave their eyebrows...or rather I had it cleaned...now my eeys look more samurai than before...
Perspective wise,Ive grown a lot...I used to beg for relationship before...and had my share of humongous disappointments but Now,I can say that Im better...more matured and naughtier...=)I was able to see things now that were overlooked before...and care for the people I used to take for granted a little bit...
Lastly,One of my friends told me that Im slowly turning into a wine...like it..as I age gracefully,I become more well rounded and a better person thatn who I was before.Reflecting on the things that I've been thru and the things that made me who I am now...I couldnt agree with her more. =)

Monday, December 8, 2008

Twilight Hype

Just watched the DVD from the states that my cousins sent me.And Im really thankful I never watched on the cinema.I hate to say this but the movie just doesnt do that much to jolt my senses.To brutally say it...its a normal love story laced with vampire undertones.The story is a bit draggy and I must say...Titanic would definitely be better watching again.
Dont get me wrong,the cast are all superb and the effects are subtle and esential but this just wouldnt do...the movie is the visual substance of everyhting thats written and it somewhat fails to deliver.I have all the books concerning the journey of bela and edward and from someone who has read it first...the film tries hard to stick with the plot but fails to capture that dark brooding magic of the story.The things that captured my attention and the time that I stayed glued on the screen was the baseball game and the confrontation of James and Edward and its just that...I know that this is just the start of the saga of this star crossed lovers and things (I hope) would get better on the installments...but if you were to ask me now which I prefer?...I'd take Titanic anytime.

Sunday, November 16, 2008


heres the most recent pics Ive taken...Just got out of the gym...Guess Im really heading for the big and bulky department

Friday, November 14, 2008

Daniel Radcliffe

Daniel used to be this adorable tyke who won our heart in Harry Potter series...Now he has explored his other options in the acting world...Recently he garnered praise for his role in the theatre production of Equus...Indeed,Daniel has really grown up...( pun intended)

2nd asian heatwave

I used to collect (well,I still do..) M2M porn and mostly of caucasian actors but it was just last year that I got hooked on my own kind...Asian.
Its a lot more erotic you might say...Innocent chinky eyes with gifted adnis like physique...What more can you ask for? Eversince I watched my first Bukkake film..its never been the same...
These are just snippets of what asian guys are capable of doing...they could burn you inside out...hehehe.Believe me...I should know. Enjoy!!!

Young Pinoy Adonis...

Something to drool at...nice,young and nubile body...waiting to be explored...hehehe enjoy his full splendor!!!

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Narcissistic? or just plain fed up with this...?

Im sorry it took me this long to write here...been busy with the past months...but im writing here again...for good.Much has changed about my life...Im more buff...bigger you might say.Been pumping iron in the gym.And guess what ? Still single...ooops! hehehe
Ive been dating but lately it seems that all the guys Im dating with arent on the same wavelength.Im just 30 but whenever I talked to them,I just couldnt relate to their ideas.Theirs are trivial( think PSP) bordering to mediocre( think All stars DOTA).I mean,theres more to life than pulverizing your opponent with your lasers...cmon.
Its kinda tiring on my part...feels like a vicious cycle ...I cant seem to find the person whom I can relate mentally...comprehend things outside our comfortable shell and talk about life in general.Paging sensible guys out there...?!!
Guess I just have to focus on how I can make myself more presentable.I know that guy is just around.Ill bid my time...so when he comes into my life..itll be worth it for both of us

Monday, September 22, 2008

SOIS TOIS (just be...)

After all the obstacles...here I am and I guess..well,survived it all. Im already 30. A sexy goateed chinito...ripe for pickin...hehehe
Upon looking back at what my life has been, I can say that Ive been to the pits and heavens and have made it to what I am now. Im not regretting anything and I feel that just as now...life is just starting to unfold...for real.
I think I have never looked this best until now.Well,compared to my highschool pics... you could say I've metamorphosed.Big time.I've never been more confident until now.
Most probably this stemmed from the fact that I have stuck it with my values no matter how many times I was sidetracked in the past.I may not be the type of guy you would take home to mom but surely im a good guy...sooo good you that you'd wish I'll be the one you'll wake up with everyday. =)
I have met someone again...but this guy was able to domesticate me.Clippin my horns was never easy but he did it efforlessly.hehehe..or I just love him that much as well.I can say that I have never been so comfortable with someone until I met Mikel. My half...

This may appear as some random musings of guy in retrospect but then again..I could ve never been more proud that I am what I am now. Stronger,wiser and keepin it real... and I have come to learn AND ACCEPT THINGS AS THEY ARE AND JUST LET THINGS BE ASL ONG AS IT MAKES ME HAPPY AND IM NOT HURTING ANYBODY'S ASSES(pun intended)

....Just be....

Saturday, August 16, 2008


After the gym I decided to go for a nice massage( again) and went to this center for the blind that caters to shiatsu and swedish massage.I got a cubicle and when the blind guy got in...My jaw almost dropped.He could no more be than 25 yrs old.Boyish looking and fairskinned.If hes not blind you would think that where i got myself into is one sleazy massage parlor for gays.He is ruggedly handsome.I gave him a once over.Standing at 5'10ht,a bit buff... I think I got the prize catch of the day.He introduced himself as Chris.
I was even more surprised when he started kneading the knots in my back...He has the softest hands!!! it felt smooth.With the combination of his gentle and firm pressure,By all means,this is heaven ...bring it on.

He talks straight and theres no hint of anything gay...I resigned myself to a wholesome wholebody massage but we can never under estimate the sensuality of the hands against the skin with lubricant.Its a sure fire to burn you within.I started having a hard on the moment he massage my butt and at the time that hes in my pelvic part...I alrady have a throbbing hard on with pre cum on the sides.He continously massaged my pubes which drove me crazy and made me bit my lips.hes silent thats why I choose to be quiet as well.But when he asked me if Id like to have it this hard ( he sensually inserted his middle finger in my ass and slowly fingered me..) I said to my self...bullcrap! this is it!!!

I spread my legs wider and allowed him to finger me...I couldnt contain it anymore.I reached out for his zipper...and Fuck! was I amazed!There lies a 7 inch (i think) thick cock with a raging hard on as well.I slowly sucked him in...his precum glazing my lips( it tasted sweet)...Sensing how good I am deepthroating him,he started to move his hips against my mouth.Choking me in the process.Rhythmically we moved...him fucking my lips and fingering my ass...me,jacking my cock and sucking him like theres no tomorrow.It was fuckin awesome.With contollrd grunts and moans...I started spurting,he sensed this and massaged my prostrated even more sending me in almost shouting grunts.It was sheer pleasure. And when hes cock got bigger along with the veins..I knew he'll explode soon...I started sucking him even more...deeper and harder like a vacuum...before I knew it..my lips are welcoming his explosion of cum...He tasted sweet.damn.
He asked for my number and gave me his schedule in the center and asked me if I wanted him to be my exclusive masseur.I said yes.I gave him a kiss and a tip inside of the cubicle.He even was the one who cleaned everything.The bed was cum drenched.I paid my fee outside the reception desk and bid goodbye to them and chris...they said goodbye to me as well,smiling.Unaware of the fucking sexcapade that happened in the 1st cubicle.

...And this is just the beginning... =)

Sunday, August 3, 2008

My mom's fried chicken

I was appointed recently by force to be the chef in my team's gathering.It was held in the hotel.I was asked to make the chicken edible.So there.
I simmered the chickedn in 7-up and basil (betcha u dont know that) and cooked it in medium fire till its all brown and done.The whole team was very grateful.The chicken tasted like gourmet.I was thankful.
When I got home suprisingly,my mom cooked fried chicken as well.As usual,I zoomed to the dining room.As I had my first bite, I smiled...humbly accepting my defeat.My chicked is nowhere near my mom's.Hers was a masterpiece.Right salty and sweet and tangy...plus it always brings back the childhood memories of rainy nights spent with family...Suddenly,I was that 7 yr old chubby kid again.
I cant pinpoint it but something in my mom's cooking makes it a delectable feast.Probably she always cooks with love for me,my dad and my kid sister...no matter how big I am..I guess I'll always be her little boy.Whatever my mom cooks transports me in my childhood days..when we have untarnished innocence.I guess her menu will always be my comfort feast...im not singling out any because each is done with pure love...hay, Chow time!!!

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Transparency...or somewhat like it

Friends are there to be your support system.And Im really thankful that I have them its just that now,I dont know if its right that I told them what I feel firsthand.
Im not happy with my current immediate superior and the team mates that I have.Somethings just not right.Being the sensitive guy that I am,I just cant pinpoint it.It all started when my efforts on this certain contest where overlooked.I felt unappreciated.That where I started to get frozen.Before I used to devout most of my time to my previous team but now it has a timeframe of 10 hrs only.I wanna get away from them as soon as possible.Im not comfortable anymore.
I know its not right that i told my friends abt what I feel first but then again...friends understand you in your own wavelength.They dont judge you for what you are and your thoughts.Well,the upshot of it was my superior learned about it and she texted me about the whole thing.Now where would you start to break the news that you dont wanna be in her team anyway?I still look up to her thats why I dont know how to start.Well as long as I can be transferred to another team,thats fine.
I already talked to our director about this and he advised me that he will definitely give a feedback to her.I ask him what if she bullied me because of this?The director informed me that if in anyway the treatment change,I should inform him at once.Im still keeping my fingers crossed that everything will be fine and I will be transferred.Good thing I have my boyfriend whos there for me..he patiently listened and hugged me.In him I was able to find support and love.and with my family around me,I know ill get over this obstacle.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008


I dont think I'll ever fit in to a situation and get stuck in it till kingdom come.I dunno...I hate being stagnant.I can stay for like a month or two but u can bet your two cents that i'll start squirming after that...Just like what im feeling right now with the people around me...in my work place.I wanna soar high and welcome the change.as refreshing as the skies above me.
Dont get me wrong...I can blend easily with people and most often than not,I am the life of the group.but I wanna do things with friendship.Not out of respect solely.I long for the time that I was in my previous team.Where everything was done with camaraderie and the willingness to help...even if its thank you only.
I can combine friendship and respect but if its just one...I dont think I can survive that long to be productive.I pulsate with lights..different lights and emotions...Respect is good..but I need to be humane...And I wanna do things with not just respect...but because they are my friends.I have done my part and delivered the goods...I can only hope for the best...And I'm really raring to go to my former team.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Nancy Jane's Love song..The DanceFloor Goddess is born

Nancy Castiglione reemerged as one of the Goddesses of the dancefloor...And we were not dissapointed.The pixie faced girl was gone and lo and behold...A sexy siren beckons to you...armed with the hypnotic voice and music...Its like Hed Kandi meets Kylie Minogue.
Her carrier track is Love song...A dance music that ironically is haunting...the effect is similar after listening to Bonnie bailey's Ever After.It makes you crave for more.The electronica blends harmoniously to her angelic childlike voice...before you know it,its too late...youre hooked.

Just for the test drive,I had the song played in the gym and most of my gymbuds asked me who's that girl singing...was it a new release from Kylie Minogue?Their jaw dropped when I told them that its nancy castiglione...They just dont wanna take it till they could get hold of the cd...well,4 buff guys rushed to the music store after they worked out.hehehe.they werent dissapointed either.
Congratulations to you Nancy Jane on your maiden album!! ! more power!!!

Love Song - Nancy Jane

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

OJ Mariano Ballads feat If ever youre in my arms again

I just grabbed a copy of Oj mariano's ballads.A collection of the most heartwarming lovesongs sung in a male point of view.His rendition of If ever youre in my arms again totally blew me away!!! he turned this song into his own,and an RnB version to boot.I was speechless.
Never was an emotion fully showcased in a song,to think that this song has been reincarnated many times.It sounded new in his voice.And you could almost feel the longingness in it...especially in the end...You could almost imagine a guy..still inlove..under the rain standing...begging you to be in his arms again..promising you forever...with all his heart.
The other songs in the album are excellent pieces making up the totality of the impact.He might not be as popular as your Jed maddela but he definitely knows how to sing with his heart...with passion and soul.His album is a must have if your a sentimental dude...youll never go wrong buying it.Trust me.Im a convert now.More power in your music!

Friday, June 6, 2008

Skinny jeans and all shit....

Before you start reacting to the recent post...its just my way of viewing what I've been seeing around...guys...girls and God forbid!!! gays alike. Personally...I dont like the fashion nowadays...its all freakin skinny jeans everywhere...so tight that by just looking at them you could have a hernia.
I dunno...this whole thing on the jeans doesnt appeal to me the way flared hipster got me before...I mean..sure this is hugging the curves but then again...you might as well just wear a stocking if you want is the pair of jeans this tight.Not to mention that NOT all have been blessed with nice shape of calves...Ugh! Its just an ugly sight.
Im for the straight cut to flared type of pants...flared type of pants looks sexy especially the dangerously low cut...I dont usually wear any undies when I wear this type of jeans but make sure that I shaved my pubes to attain those almost baby hairs...You could guess the rest when I raise my arms to hold the steel bar in MRT train on a rush hour...hehe.guys and girls alike would stare at my navel...the "karug" going down to my bulge...Come to think of it...I already got 3 proposals when I alighted from the train on 3 different occasions...with 3 diff guys...but thats for another story.

Now back to fashion mishaps...Another thing im seeing is the scarves that resembles those worn by taliban men..the kind that resembles a table cloth usually in white and checkered red...I mean..cmon! color wheel has more than these colors and by Gads name! ...dont wear it here during summer!!! this is a Tropical country!! and you in any way dont look hot on these scarves...you just remind me of taliban dickheads who killed stupidly in their wrong notion of Jihad.Why dont you wear something that resembles the neck warmers that we see on korean telenovelas...that is way better and could go with almost any get up..BUT PLEASE...that doesnt give you the freakin excuse to wear it outside during lunch hour.THIS IS A TROPICAL COUNTRY...and cold months are from september to january.Hope that sinks in.
Fashion may come and go and most people join the fad.I had to admit that Ive been guilty at many times but this I think,is one fad that I'll go up against...Skinny jeans dont look good on muscular guys like me...and the same goes for you guys/gays out there!...If you have a pair of gastrocnemius(calves) the size of boxing glove then dont wear skinny jeans.Or risk looking like a mutated version of Donna cruz when she was in her leggings and oversized polo days.

Friday, May 9, 2008

This shouldnt have happened...but then again...

I dunno whats gotten into the cosmic alignment that time...and I wasnt prepared for that as well...But something happened...something im not expecting and left me dumbfounded but oddly satisfied...this is not being unlucky...wanna find out...?read on...

I just got out of the gym...sore muscled tired from lifting weight and I decided to have my massage in the mall where they got blind masseurs.I asked for a full body and was taken to a cubicle.Im simply glad to have my massage.
I stripped everything and lay on my tummy and waited for the masseur.Then he arrived.He was a mid forty man,tall,a bit cute and blind(at least that what I know coz hes wearing shades)then he startes massaging me.

Im usually the moaner type...with the muscles slowly being massaged..I couldnt help it.The room got filled up with my moans...(sexy moans if your outside and hearing it,you might think someone is fuckin inside...hehehe).Whe he massaged my lower part...he changed from liniment to lotion...to make it smooth so he said.I couldnt care less...Im having the time of my life...but theres more to come...and it did came when i least expected it.he massaged my butt cheeks slowly,kneading the firm orbs...and then went to massage my lower abs..where my treasure trail grows...and his fingers got acquainted with my pubic skin...hairs and all.

Im a perfectly healthy gay man...and before I knew it...my cock was hard and throbbing.Sensing that im having a massive erection down...he slowly held my cock and gently move his hand up and down...This time I closed my eyes...and my moans lessened.I was biting my lower lip from sheer pleasure.I couldnt take it anymore...I lied on my back and and opened my legs...and he had the full view to get his hands busy...

He massaged my crack...(I love it damn!) my balls and my cock firmly and gently...my hips moving to fuck his encircling hand accordingly...and when Im about to explode...He massaged my crack in circular motion and jerked me simultaneously.I couldnt contained the pleasure anymore...With a heavy moan and grunt,I exploded in his hands.My cum spurting and hitting me in the chest,neck and cheeks.he got hit in the uniform as well...

I lay there motionless while he was cleaning me with a towel...Was I bad? i mean I just lay there and responded to him...more like a primal instinct.And I enjoyed it very much.Needless to say,I got dressed,went out and paid the fee and gave him a tip.Nobody knew what happened inside the cubicle.it happened to fast...too soon...When I got out...it dawned to me..this is my first encounter with a blind man...and I fuckin liked it. hehehe

Monday, April 28, 2008

Hana Kimi...and getting hooked in it

I was bitten with a the hana kimi bug...my sister was begging me to get a dvd of this since last week and I,being a good big brother bought her that.So there.
Last saturday after I got from the gym,there was nothing else to do at the house.My whole family decided to have a recollection at the mall and I was home alone.Being an active person that I am,I wandered around the house and couldnt find anything I could busy myself into...then I turned into the stack of the dvd's.It turned out to be the best decision Ive had last saturday!
I chunked in the Hana kimi dvd and voila! I was transported into the world of innocent yet courageous love...the one which will brave the odds...even transferring from America to Yang kai(the school)Taiwan to make ones dream come true.This is the world of Lu rui xi(ella Chen),Xiu yi(Jiro Wang) and Zuo yi Quan(Wu Chun).
Ive never been so engrossed before...I mean after the meteor garden mania...Ive never come to look at these series as worth my time...but then again...Hana Kimi held me like a glove...a spell...and before I knew it...It was too late.I was hooked.
The story is superb..tho for the melodramatics it may sound shallow but then again...No one can contest the level of emotions with it comes to the heart...and fallin for the guy who made you turn around your principle 360 degrees!
I was able to relate with Rui Xi (Ella).I was once like her.I think I have gone to great lenghts before in the name of love.Was scarred yet unrelentlessly fighting.to be with that person no matter what.A painful yet worth remembering stage in my life.I dunno but when Rui Xi cried because of her being ignored by Quan ...I find myself crying with her...probably because her tears reminded me of the one I shed long ago...out of desperation and helplessness...Asking why everything is turning into an obstacle when all I want at that time was just to be with his side.To protect and love him.Such pure thoughts and wishes...in the name of love.

I like the innocent intrigue of secretly fallin for each other and yet trying hard to contain and get hold of ones self...that is sooo romantic...They had me in giggles and pink bubbles.hehehe! what can I say? Wu chun is one of the most handsome asian actors Ive come across with...and the idea of Him loving you secretly was just too much to take...HAHAHA!!! Im beginning to be cheezy again!!!
Jiro wang is hilarious and supplies most of the laughing parts.A talented actor and equally handsome...I dunno...Hes just so endearing and whoa!!! He posseses the same heavenly body as Wu chun...Il gladly take both of them anytime!!! hahahaha!!!
Seriously,Hana kimi's plot might be shallow on the first time but if youre able to read the underlying message...its more than the highschoolish love...its strength and love combined and personified.Like Rui Xi...I havent lost the zest to fight for what I believe would last a lifetime..be it love or otherwise.And Hana kimi just made me realize that if you persevere and fight for what you feel...dreams do come true...and more!!!One look at how Quan starts to care for Rui xi would prove everything.Hana kimi Rocks!!!

P.S. I like the light gay undertones of the plot as well...=)

Monday, April 14, 2008

Morphing into a Bishonen...

Sorry if I havent been able to update you guys...been busy with my work ...and the gym...Whats up????

I just had my hair colored(for the longest time) again.Its a japanese hair color and the name reminds me of starbucks.Its milk tea. I've been crazy about the hair colors of my birthplace.Its different from the startling blondes of the US.Ours is subtle but kinda gets into your subconscious...hehehe.My hair is a cross over between a tamed strawberry blonde and ash blonde combined.And Im growing my hair long again...I guess Anime invasion is back with vengeance.hehehe.

Im planning to get contacts the color of blue skies...Well the contrast is good.Im a slit eyed guy and the color of my peepers are cerulean blue.A vivid features of a bishonen...And with long hair the color of ash blonde...you could guess the rest.

I havent been able to pay much attention to myself...I almost got drowned in looking for that blasted "one". I guess Ive had too much...Its about time that I love myself more than anyone else.It maybe a bit selfish to other people but I have given more than enough in loving those illusions.Temporary images with temporary satisfaction.Now Im loving ME and theres no stopping the metamorphosis.Its long overdue.

Im getting double takes again but I guess Id rather focus on life now.Life with its true essence is just starting to unfold before my eyes and I wanna savor every bit of it.I have gone far and wide to find completeness but it was when I regressed that I was able to piece the whole me.Finally.

P.S. nothing compares to the happiness
of fitting into your old jeans again... =)

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Bleeding Heart

My present status now...a gem of a song that digs and unravels whats inside of me...enjoy the song...

Bleeding Heart

Closed off from love
I didn't need the pain
Once or twice was enough
And it was all in vain
Time starts to pass
Before you know it you're frozen

But something happened
For the very first time with you
My heart melts into the ground
Found something true
And everyone's looking round
Thinking I'm going crazy

But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

Trying hard not to hear
But they talk so loud
Their piercing sounds fill my ears
Try to fill me with doubt
Yet I know that the goal
Is to keep me from falling

But nothing's greater
Than the rush that comes with your embrace
And in this world of loneliness
I see your face
Yet everyone around me
Thinks that I'm going crazy, maybe, maybe

But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

And it's draining all of me
Oh they find it hard to believe
I'll be wearing these scars
For everyone to see...

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Stagnant at 5 pm

Just got out of the gym and typing in the computer...sorry if I dont have pictures here...its kinda strict here in the office.No downloading.Anyhow,my lifes ok...but somehow...deep inside,Im longing for something.Something that would make my blood rush.a natural high.Im not looking for sex...silly but more like the rush and adventures of being young again...I dunno...Im bored.my life has become a routine of some sort.work,gym work gym...I long for those days that I used to run in the fields...bantering with childhood friends in the rain...ah...the essence of being innocent..If I could just turn back the hands of time...those time that the thing that I worry is how to finish that goddamn algebraic equations in 2nd year...hehehe.
I love where Im at now and thankful that Im healthy and have reached this stage by far...but somehow...there are times that you wanna scream...that you feel that youre cooped up inside...that you wanna break free...for no reason at all...sometime it happens..and this is one of them.I hate catatonia.
am I still making sense?...I hope so...I just have to let this out or else like poison...itll kill me...figuratively.anyhow,I love life along with the ups and the uncertainty it brings but Im still longing for something wonderful and new...Something that would make the little boy inside me jump with glee again...till then...we'll both wait...hmmn.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

My Big love

I recently watched this movie...and I freakin enjoyed it!!!I usually am not into filipino movies due to its rehashed plots but this one kinda touched a soft spot in my heart. Mackie,the main guy character is very much like me before...I used to be fat.And Im tellin you...being in the heavy weight side is no joke.I think I experienced all kinds of rejections by that time.And I think thats the main reason that drove me to shed those pounds...To get back to the world.I did lost some pounds but then again it feels empty.Like half baked satisfaction.Then I begin to love and befriend my self slowly...loving the reason why Im doing it and felt complete from then on.I realized that vengance and getting back can fuel your passion for a while but leaves you empty handed afterwards.This movie cemented that idea.That no matter what you do...it would always always be satisfying to know that the reason your doing it is because you love it...and it makes you happy.

PS I cried a bit...I used to be like him. =)

Monday, March 10, 2008

If ever you (will) be in my arms again...

My most favorite song made into duet...a nice arrangement...damn...never fails to bring out the romantic guy in me...along with the tears and wishes of what couldve been...sigh* Anyhow this is for you NIKO....years may have passed by but I guess...Im resigned to the fact that itll always be you Ive loved this deep.

PS Love really is sweeter the second
time around...cherish him if he comes back to you...

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Ive come Undone

Im quite nearing the ripe sexy age of 30 and Im suddenly having these momentarily flashes of my life...Its not a morbid thing but more like a reflection of what has transpired all this time...What Ive been through and what I have become...
Looking back I have been in the swirling and most often dizzying world of Gay realm since I first came out in the late 90's.I have experienced getting rejected and being loved...which unfortunately never lasted but nevertheless worth it.Why?...it made me stronger.
Now that im nearing almost half of my life...Id like to say that Im more focused.Had to admit that there are times that I got fatalistic but now,I think more of the people that I care most..my family and slowly starting to be there for them...I have been a good son,dont get me wrong.Its just that I feel that what Ive done to make them happy isnt enough...or just plain Im maturing enough to know WHO really matters in my life most.
Ive never considered this 30ish phase as of getting old but more like the start of the real adventure. Early 20's was more like rediscovering who I was and learning the ropes of everything.I couldnt have said it all.I learned everyhting I needed to.And now, armed with the precious nuggets of wisdom from those years...Im really eager to face my life and start an honest to goodness adventure.
I never am regretting that its just now I was able to see the bigger picture.Maybe its really just now that the bolts and knots started churning for me...and I know with my family and God with my side...I can live to the fullest with that one particular line of the song " Its time for me to do it...on my own." =)

Monday, February 25, 2008

Praying for Love

this is one of my favorite video by donna de lory!!! the last time I saw it was 1993...i was only 15 yrs old!!! damn!!! its very rare...and if you will listen to the lyrics...its heavenly..deep and mysteriously romantic...enjoy the sexy groove and video

P.S I love the way she and that guy dances...its erotic...

Friday, February 22, 2008


I dont know whats with me...eversince I could remember,if I hate someone ...something bad happens to them.Im pretty much convinced now...you see I hate this one officemate because of her not so nice attitude...I just dont like her .I never wished her ill things but something bad happened to her lately...call it a coincidence?i dunno...but as far as I can remember,I thought of something...(its vague)that can make her realize that shes not all that and days after that...this thing happened.I still feel sad but somehow vindicated...she kinda made me out of place...and I feel that it was worth it...She learned how to talk to us again like friends...I dunno...I just dunno.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

The Hate List

I'd like to think that Im a sane person who loves peace but then again...everyone harbors a dark side...and now may I present to you...the factors that never fails to bring out the vicious side of me.

1. I hate those people who take their sweet time withdrawing to those ATM machines...and if your freaki unlucky ...they have their friend's atms to chuck out their freakin salaries.I almost once crushed a dumb factory girl for doing this...If they wanna take their sweet time...go to the bank and please let your other friends withdraw their own money...in respect to those who are waiting.

2. Those who demand that you should be goodlookin prior to EB but looks like your sole upon meeting.Jeez,If your not that presentable...then dont impose on others.Makes me wanna hurl them at the guillitone.

3. Those cashiers who simply refuse to exert effort in giving you change.They would simply tell you in a nonchalant way that "sir,we dont have change". Is it still my problem?Go get your ass moving to look for one then.

4. Those freeloaders who disguise as your friends...They would get your trust and then borrow things and money from you and would suddenly have an amnesia...like nothing ever freakin happened...

....these are some of them..i'll fill you in later...have to think still about those things that are bringing out the Mr Hyde in me...

Lo que siente la mujer

This is madonna's version in spanish of What it feels like for a girl...one my my recent favorites! the video is at the bottom.check it out

Lo Que siente La mujer

labio suave y rosa... baby
piel de miel, dulce y silenciosa

te parece confundida
su pasion esta escondida
nunca sabes lo que va decir
cuando empieza a sonreir

quieres ver lo que siente la mujer
quieres ver y tratar de comprender...la mujer

seductora, pero nunca facil...baby
misteriosamente dura y fragil
lagrimas que no te enseña
su dolor no deja huella
no la trates ya de impresionar
solo dejate llevar

Friday, February 15, 2008

...Psychological catatonia

sorry if its just now that I ws able to write or atleast inform you that im still existing.Been busy with my so called life...Have you ever encounered writer's block? its like a constipation of the brain...no matter how hard you push...it just wont do...no idea's coming out...even if feb 14 is way past from terrorizing me..I am stil in psychological catatonia...but Ill bounce back soon..

Friday, February 1, 2008

Date with an angel

One of my favorite films of all time!!! plus the heavenly music thats played actually when the angel takes flight.But this one has the full length of the song I come alive...Enjoy!!!

Free by own choice

The one im currently with informed me that his visa just arrived from Canada.Suprisingly it didnt hurt that much...maybe because I know that hes going anytime soon.And he was the one who was actually crying.I told him to go for it...That he prayed for this to happen and now that its here,He should grab the chance.Afer we talked,I kinda reflect on myself...Was I too scared to face that hell go? or have turned Ice cold to shield my self from the pain?...I guess having been a veteran of such many failed relationships,I opted for the latter.Maybe I just dont wanna be in the pits again.And I know Ill find someone better...But for now,I choose to be free...vree from the pain of being left behind.I am the creator of my symphony and I choose to create the happiest music the world will ever hear.

Thursday, January 31, 2008

Tony Ward (from the Past...)

Hes one of the mermaids in Madonna's video Cherish and had her boytoy for sometime.He became a supermodel and dabbled in arts and photography...now his works are known internationally..gay anD STRAIGHT BOTH REVERED ON HIS ECCENTRICITY AND ARTISTRY...enjoy his splendor...

Smells like a teen parent...

Ok, my freakin P900 flex broke.and there was nuthin for me to do but to take it to the specialist....Have you ever felt like your the one whos takin all the pain...?as soon as the specialist opened and unscrewed the insides of my P900,It felt like I was the one who got ripped.Probably I cared about my phone that much...I dunno...but It felt weird.like I was a dad whos watching his son get operated.Ihate the feelin...whew! It felt like I was a REALLY a dad that time.To top it all,my P900 flex was beyond repairable and I simply need to replace it...This is sooo freakin frustrating! I went out of the mall seething.Though it is still ok to use the stylus,I couldnt bear to see my phone incomplete or have it operated again for the second time...I guess I just have to get a new one...dang!

Friday, January 25, 2008

Pinoy Flavor....

Some of the pics that I browsed and checked in the net...damned! If this is the way fiesta would be celebrated in the Philippines...you can be sure Ill be there in the front row of the procession!!! heheheh!!!!

Indeed,Pinoys are really not a race to be taken for granted!!!! Sugod mga Guerilla!!!!

The 8th Original Sin

I asked for a day's leave to have my gums checked because it got swollen...most probably because of what I ate (damn those chickenjoys).Luckily I was just advised to take my amoxicillin and mefenamic...no serious prob.And the good part is I get to do my favorite habit(its not masturbating...hehehe,its just 2nd to that)which is SLEEPING!!!
I slept for almost 10 hrs and boy,what a rest it was...I am wickedly rejuvenated!!! not to mention that I was able to organize my iPod music library...and next week's payday!!! Hehehe!!! Life is good! Thanks God!!!!

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Of all the Arguments...!@$%#

My beau and I had an argument about...guess what? SEX...It goes like this...Hes not used to having a very liberated guy (me) in bed.I couldnt help it...I know a lot and the reason why im doing that is because I love him and it cant get any appreciative than that...I felt insulted when he told me hes not used to in hardcore tumble session...What the Fuck?!...
I still love him dont get me wrong...but I think I owe it to myself to get hurt...He told me his past affairs,I took it all in.I think I deserve better that that comment...especially if my main motive is to please him.
As of the moment...out of being hurt,I vowed never to touch him again...Hes still wooing me as of the moment.Huh!!! I deserve more...

PS The guy really loves me...(I think)

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Love would never do without you

my favorite version of janet jackson.s love would never do w/out you...done ofcourse by macy gray...enjoy the groove!

The 2nd Asian Heatwave...

Remember That I once featured a batch of looking asians?...heres the 2nd batch!!! enjoy !!!!