Tuesday, June 30, 2009
I hate to break the stereotype but sometimes we have to have a reality check...(its like slapping your cheeks with your own hand with full gusto).Are we really inlove? or are we just inlove with the thought of being inlove?(try saying that 5x faster)
I feel envious sometimes whenever I see couples or gay couples for that matter getting cozy to each other...(this is a dead giveaway to my current lovelife).what makes them tick and what makes me sooo elusive.Its not that Im presenting myself to every guy I meet but you get the thought.
I started to check my self and then I noticed some things...that Yes,If I will be dating me...Id back off.men got intimated because there are certain traits that I guess shooes them away and singles me out in the whole dating and getting cozy arena...c'mon,dont say I told you so...im working on it.
Dont get me wrong...there are brave guys who still hit on me but I guess its more on finding the shoe that fits...and on myself....taming my Mr.Hyde.Im starting the process of overhauling myself emotionally and physically (Again!) so as to be ..uh...more accomodating to people..and to the One I will be giving my life it...(stupidity meter just rose a notch level)
Everybody loves a fairytale and frogs turning into a princes but sometimes,reality feels better and the more tangible it becomes...the better the outcome will be...
P.S. I kissed gazillion of frogs already and up to now,
all Im seeing are Orcs...Ugh.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Im not fatalistic...I usually look into the brighter side of everything but there will always come a time that in some way, these morbid thoughts would creep in...like, What im working for? my money goes to those things that I adorn my body with...which in time shall rot and turn into dust.that these things would just be anything but mementos of a being who once hedonistically purchased them.
That all of these things that we must endure are part of nothingness...that we would just be a speck of nothing when grim reaper comes and knocks in...Its a scary thought..and I am often haunted by that...That everything that we have worked on for...will be for nothing.. this is where "nothing lasts forever" comes into view.I usually block these thoughts by thinking that there would always be a brighter side but there are times that this technique doesnt work.That I ,for the life of me gets swallowed in these morbid thoughts....
Prayer usually helps to strengthen your faith that everything would turn out just fine..but there would always be that tiny voice in me...asking why? why do we have to die? where would we go...would there really be a safe place afterlife?...
I know that these questions are trivial but when you try to atleast think about it...this is where we all grasp for something tangible...a solid answer....to hold on to..and to reassure that we will just be fine ...Such is the frailty of human existence.