Emotional Rantings

2009 proved to be just a passing phase...so fast its just a like a breeze in summer.Fleeting.almost transparent...and there was me...

I never had the chance to grope that ever after last year...Im soo tired of one night wham bams.I guess there would really come a time in your life that you would look beyond what you see...Im in that stage and frankly it os frustrating.Frustrating that most of the people dont get you...andit seems a herculean task to find Mr. Right...what was I doing? was it wrong?...because everytime Im nearing that settling stage...everything turns kaputz! Im getting tired of this vicious cycle.

And I havent even mentioned the cellphone relationships...Fuck.


Im sooo damn tired of this whole thing.Not that im blaming the unlimited talk network coz in some ways ,it helped a lot in connecting. The thing is..the relationships over the phone is just as good as your battery. Picture this...you guys would talk over the phone...all cheesy and mushy...would pledge your whiney ass undying love...securing everything over words and then...you two would meet...and then what? BAM!!! ...

....emotional Chaos.Like you never knew each other...

Dont you just get tired of this?...I do. I am. And pissed....


Just when it is that you get to have Ever After? is it really just for those goodlooking assholes.Come to think of it...I can give more than they are capable.

I went to the gym before to get revenge....now its for the love of me.myself and I...

...and I think with this Im getting more sensible...

I may not have the ever after for now...but Im sure that whoever's gonna get my heart will surely be a lucky bastard.

He would have with him a sensible loving man..who has come to know what love truly is...


Bring it On !!!.... =)

Carpi Diem

Life is really as fickleminded as the seasons...One time your healthy and the next time...you have a stage 4 cancer eating your life away...
One of my officemate was diagnosed to be having a stage 4 cancer on the muscles.This guy is really big and if your going to see him,hes unlikely to get that...hes big and burly but lo and behold...he had been diagnosed with this and getting treatment since last year.
Im not close to this guy but this made me think ...and reflect on how life is...and being thankful that I'm still here and enjoying life's gifts and suprises...


Miracles arent far behind...as long as you believe in it...Carpi diem!!!

Pandora's box 2009

... Time really flies fast when your particularly apathetic about it.Well,I couldnt care less..but it seems that it was just yesterday when I got my first 2009 heartbreak circa January...and the things that made up my 2009 upon retrospect are worth visiting...here's some...

Same old shit..just new assholes to face.It never fails to amuse me how some people cant just accept that there are and there will always be people better than them. And there are still people who have grown physically but left their brains in their 3rd grade classrooms...and theres no way you can play Mother theresa to them.let them be...their happy being pathetic.

No matter how much and how deep you conceal yourself and your true nature...it will shine thru and this would come in the most awkward circumstances...

How many times I have promised not to fall again... and by some warped humor of Venus,finds myself entangled again with another guy..Whew,this is tiring.But an enjoyable ride.

If you really wanna do something...then dont just sit there and wonder what will be the outcome...By all means go get your ass and do it...so whatevers gonna be the result,you aint gonna be sittin wondrin what couldve been...

Dont be stingy about the things that you like...you owe it to yourself to be happy...and aim for the things that you really want and will make you really happy...

its ok to be different once in a while...but never try to change your identity...just complement it with these changes to bring out your individuality.

Fresh start...

Im moving to a new place...make that a boarding house.to have a fresh start.As you all know,I had an unspoken riff with a flatmate and just the sight of him makes me cringe big time. Anyhow , I got a news from the grapevine saying that the bastard just got from a recollection.I was half expecting a pruned set of horns...but lo and behold...nuthing..not even one fuckin bit.Pompous as ever,he made sure that everyone knows that hes been thru a retreat by changing his wish list to a pocket bible while ignoring me...now,how pathetic is that?It amuses me big time.
New friend is moving in to the flat.We have been close but it was just last night that I was able to get a glimpse of her life...how its been.Tough as she is,its not all that.She,like me have been detoured for a while.In her I found symphaty..more like a kindred spirit.I guess losing a fake friend has its reward.I gained a new one.
One of his nonsense friend started talkin to me.I was glad coz at one point we got close but theres this new feeling in me.Like Id rather not have her close to me.We talk but I prefer to have my own space from now on...it is safe...for her sake that is...
The whirlwind that I have been tru proved to be a blessing in disguise.I was able to sort out who matters most in my life friendwise.It was hurtful at that time but I was glad that it happened.Im feeling like calm and relax now...and Frankly I couldnt be more grateful...

Psychological Colds

Have you experience getting psychological colds?the kind which makes you instantly withdrawn and wants to give the first person you meet a swift kick in the head? I do...and Im experiencing it right now...

For the longest time I find myself despising the people around me...I hate hypocrisy...and having so much tupperwares areound just wont do it...Its like im beginning to get claustrophobic because of these dimwits...And I couldnt just rip their hearts out of their chest...Its not in our code of conduct.I might get a memo.

Im still observing...like a grandmaster in a chess tournament...contemplating my moves and bidding my time...And Im learning to be a little bit selfish and loving myself a bit more...I know that ill reclaim again my spot.

La Hombra Immortis

I never thought I could be this mean....and i'm loving it.I wasnt born this way but due to unavoidable circumstances...I was forced to let my dark side out...And Im sooo glad I did.
You see Ive been very nice to people around me...Even those ungrateful bullshits at workplace...I tried to make friends with them.But I guess,no matter how you look for an ideal place to work...some things never change....and there will always be those people who are for the life of them,are eager to be on top and always in. I dont have have problems with that ...but when my peaceful existence are threatened...My vicious side just gets out.
And the one I mentioned in one of my recent blogs,hes the one Im pointing at....well,I may be quiet and just ignoring it on the outside,to the point of being labeled as catatonic but never underestimate a quiet person. There are lots of things that are going inside my mind...and dang! did I made those real! hehehehe
witchcraft has been a long tradition in the family...a lineage which can never be forgotten.Lets just say I summoned few trusted entities to do my bidding...Karma wise.I cant be hit.Why? HE STARTED IT..and Im just returning ther favor...and its taking effect. Talk about him getting sick and wasted...till when? i dont know...call me bad but Im not about to end soon...not just yet.
I know its not right but its ok....Ive been very nice and all...and am just giving him a taste of his bitter medicine.I felt relieved....I might be cruel...but it made me happy...and I am smiling.Finally, the forces...conspiring with me...Ive been badly hit in the past....Its about time.


P.S. I wonder how does it taste when your tootbrush is used
as a toilet bowl cleaner...I dont know...but he does... ( smiles wickedly)

You asked for it...

...Let the Bitch Fight begin...