Ive come Undone

Im quite nearing the ripe sexy age of 30 and Im suddenly having these momentarily flashes of my life...Its not a morbid thing but more like a reflection of what has transpired all this time...What Ive been through and what I have become...
Looking back I have been in the swirling and most often dizzying world of Gay realm since I first came out in the late 90's.I have experienced getting rejected and being loved...which unfortunately never lasted but nevertheless worth it.Why?...it made me stronger.
Now that im nearing almost half of my life...Id like to say that Im more focused.Had to admit that there are times that I got fatalistic but now,I think more of the people that I care most..my family and slowly starting to be there for them...I have been a good son,dont get me wrong.Its just that I feel that what Ive done to make them happy isnt enough...or just plain Im maturing enough to know WHO really matters in my life most.
Ive never considered this 30ish phase as of getting old but more like the start of the real adventure. Early 20's was more like rediscovering who I was and learning the ropes of everything.I couldnt have said it all.I learned everyhting I needed to.And now, armed with the precious nuggets of wisdom from those years...Im really eager to face my life and start an honest to goodness adventure.
I never am regretting that its just now I was able to see the bigger picture.Maybe its really just now that the bolts and knots started churning for me...and I know with my family and God with my side...I can live to the fullest with that one particular line of the song " Its time for me to do it...on my own." =)