Pandora's box 2009

... Time really flies fast when your particularly apathetic about it.Well,I couldnt care less..but it seems that it was just yesterday when I got my first 2009 heartbreak circa January...and the things that made up my 2009 upon retrospect are worth visiting...here's some...

Same old shit..just new assholes to face.It never fails to amuse me how some people cant just accept that there are and there will always be people better than them. And there are still people who have grown physically but left their brains in their 3rd grade classrooms...and theres no way you can play Mother theresa to them.let them be...their happy being pathetic.

No matter how much and how deep you conceal yourself and your true nature...it will shine thru and this would come in the most awkward circumstances...

How many times I have promised not to fall again... and by some warped humor of Venus,finds myself entangled again with another guy..Whew,this is tiring.But an enjoyable ride.

If you really wanna do something...then dont just sit there and wonder what will be the outcome...By all means go get your ass and do it...so whatevers gonna be the result,you aint gonna be sittin wondrin what couldve been...

Dont be stingy about the things that you like...you owe it to yourself to be happy...and aim for the things that you really want and will make you really happy...

its ok to be different once in a while...but never try to change your identity...just complement it with these changes to bring out your individuality.

Fresh start...

Im moving to a new place...make that a boarding house.to have a fresh start.As you all know,I had an unspoken riff with a flatmate and just the sight of him makes me cringe big time. Anyhow , I got a news from the grapevine saying that the bastard just got from a recollection.I was half expecting a pruned set of horns...but lo and behold...nuthing..not even one fuckin bit.Pompous as ever,he made sure that everyone knows that hes been thru a retreat by changing his wish list to a pocket bible while ignoring me...now,how pathetic is that?It amuses me big time.
New friend is moving in to the flat.We have been close but it was just last night that I was able to get a glimpse of her life...how its been.Tough as she is,its not all that.She,like me have been detoured for a while.In her I found symphaty..more like a kindred spirit.I guess losing a fake friend has its reward.I gained a new one.
One of his nonsense friend started talkin to me.I was glad coz at one point we got close but theres this new feeling in me.Like Id rather not have her close to me.We talk but I prefer to have my own space from now on...it is safe...for her sake that is...
The whirlwind that I have been tru proved to be a blessing in disguise.I was able to sort out who matters most in my life friendwise.It was hurtful at that time but I was glad that it happened.Im feeling like calm and relax now...and Frankly I couldnt be more grateful...

Psychological Colds

Have you experience getting psychological colds?the kind which makes you instantly withdrawn and wants to give the first person you meet a swift kick in the head? I do...and Im experiencing it right now...

For the longest time I find myself despising the people around me...I hate hypocrisy...and having so much tupperwares areound just wont do it...Its like im beginning to get claustrophobic because of these dimwits...And I couldnt just rip their hearts out of their chest...Its not in our code of conduct.I might get a memo.

Im still observing...like a grandmaster in a chess tournament...contemplating my moves and bidding my time...And Im learning to be a little bit selfish and loving myself a bit more...I know that ill reclaim again my spot.

La Hombra Immortis

I never thought I could be this mean....and i'm loving it.I wasnt born this way but due to unavoidable circumstances...I was forced to let my dark side out...And Im sooo glad I did.
You see Ive been very nice to people around me...Even those ungrateful bullshits at workplace...I tried to make friends with them.But I guess,no matter how you look for an ideal place to work...some things never change....and there will always be those people who are for the life of them,are eager to be on top and always in. I dont have have problems with that ...but when my peaceful existence are threatened...My vicious side just gets out.
And the one I mentioned in one of my recent blogs,hes the one Im pointing at....well,I may be quiet and just ignoring it on the outside,to the point of being labeled as catatonic but never underestimate a quiet person. There are lots of things that are going inside my mind...and dang! did I made those real! hehehehe
witchcraft has been a long tradition in the family...a lineage which can never be forgotten.Lets just say I summoned few trusted entities to do my bidding...Karma wise.I cant be hit.Why? HE STARTED IT..and Im just returning ther favor...and its taking effect. Talk about him getting sick and wasted...till when? i dont know...call me bad but Im not about to end soon...not just yet.
I know its not right but its ok....Ive been very nice and all...and am just giving him a taste of his bitter medicine.I felt relieved....I might be cruel...but it made me happy...and I am smiling.Finally, the forces...conspiring with me...Ive been badly hit in the past....Its about time.


P.S. I wonder how does it taste when your tootbrush is used
as a toilet bowl cleaner...I dont know...but he does... ( smiles wickedly)

You asked for it...

...Let the Bitch Fight begin...

Rift...Insecurity and blah blah....

This is'nt about me...more like someone I am now living with.Dont get me wrong...I just moved on in a townhouse with a friend and we decided to have another one shre the expenses.This one is an officemate. He was quite fine until weve reached the norming stage...adjusting to each others quirks and all shit.
He had what we call the basic carry overs of a young urbanite ( laptop,phones,CC etc...) but something 's wrong with the way he's acting. ..and Im not liking it.He has an attittude problem...like hes all that....I dunno whats happening...and slowly getting disgusted.
I am nice...way too nice and Im still keepin my temper under moderate conditions...and Im really hoping that its just a norming process...Knwoing how vicious I am if provoked...He wouldnt stand a chance ... Im still keeping my fingers crossed about the whole thing and praying that itll pass...otherwise,I guess I wouldnt have a choice but to bring out my dark side...It has been long dormant.But then again...it feels good to be vicious and bad sometimes.Dont you think? ( smiles devilishly...)

Musings of a 31 year old Chinito

Time flies sooo fast and before I know it,another year has been added,a page turned in my life...I am already 31 yrs old. My parents are already asking me when I will settle..Not that Im gay or anything but this got me thinking for a while...does it really have to go with age?I dunno but emotionally Im still looking for that perfect and missing piece of the puzzle...

For those of you who followed me circa 2006 when I was still clueless on life and love,You know that Ive been thru a lot and infact have died and got resurrected emotionally many times...So many that it would shame your trusty planner

I never regreted the fact that Ive been thru ALL of those.Come to think of it,Those emotional milestones and obstacles made me like a wine...sinfully addicting as I age ( you get the point,right?)

I am now taking everything in stride...Not hurrying things anymore.Love was never meant to be halfbaked.It has to be churned and cooked with its own time..and that what Im doing now.Gone are the days that I have to beg for somebody to stay.I own now my world and my confidence and is not dependent on someone elses.

Bitch moments will always be there =) but now I know how to crush with subtlety.So subtle that you wouldnt know that youre crumbling before my very presence.And mastering this is an acquired taste.You have to experience getting in order to give something...And I always make it to the point to contain this power otherwise Ill raise chaos and hell all over ( which is osmetimes needed to wake up these idiots).

Im dating someone,more like going out with someone who is 10 years younger than me.Im not saying that I like younger men.If I could only choose I rather have someone close to my age but as destiny would have it...Younger men tend to gravitate towards me...Not that Im freakin father figure( no fuckin way! im too young for that!) but I guess maybe Im not all fuck and suck..I talk and think as well.And sense and sensibilty would always be needed in the relationship...( you bet)

Gone are the days of shock appeal as well.I play with subtlety in fashion.Clean haircut and casual clothes are the way to go.The only remnants of my flashy self are the contacts lenses which I still wear- but in hazel colors now...Taste evolves with age ...and I have found the way I REALLY would want to look and be seen.I couldve not been more grateful for this acquired taste of wisdom and sense.... =)